F*ck you! F*ck you! F*ck you! F*ck you!……..
The rage had no more place in my body and it wasn’t in my power to stop it.
Like a volcanic eruption, my too long suppressed anger was spewing f-word from the depths of my soul.
Leaving everyone, inclusive myself, terror-stricken and shocked.
I had never shown anyone this side of me.
I always was the exemplary good girl.
Even though today I laugh about it, it taught me that suppressing your emotions, especially the ones that are considered negative is no go.
All emotions are valid and they are there for a reason.
You can suppress them only for so long before it explodes.
In one way or another.
Shouting out f-words to the whole town to witness is nothing in comparison to serious illnesses like cancer or depression.
So, allow yourself to feel your emotions.
All of them.
Anger, sadness, grief, jealousy, shame etc.
Don’t run away or push them under the carpet – so to speak.
Don’t be the good girl and dare to say no when you feel it’s the right thing to do to honour you.
Write the nastiest letter saying all you mean.
And then burn it.
Shout all the horrible things into the pillow (if the building is well sound isolated of course) or get in the car and drive to someplace no one can hear you (I know, can be difficult to find a place like that).
Speak about them with people who can handle it and will listen to you without judgment.
When you allow & validate and express your emotions (in a constructive way preferable ?), they dissolve and don’t do any harm to anyone, foremost yourself.