Are you hiding & afraid of being not too much too?

gita,sept.17

I walked to school and back since I was six: 5 miles (3,5km) each way.
I liked the forest and knew every tree in it, however in the dark those same trees turned into a potential monster or were hiding one.
To cheer myself up and as well to scare the monsters away I was singing loud as I walked home.
I was convinced if I radiated confidence and fearlessness the monsters would see that I’m not scared and won’t come close to me.
And the road seemed much shorter too and I was having fun.
But then something happened and I changed.
I learned shame.
It crippled me and it shut me down.
I felt ashamed of myself.
I believed it was safer to be quiet, so I don’t provoke the monsters.
And so, I wouldn’t sing anymore and instead was sneaking as quiet as possible while listening to and being terrified by every little noise.
And so I took this habit with me outside the forest.
I was hiding.
Feeling terrible in my skin, afraid to show my emotions and who I was.
I believed I had to be strong so I put that mask on me.
Life itself seemed like that dark forest full of monsters.
And I would try to hide and be careful not to do anything that could drive an attention to me.
I turned into a doormat and had no idea what I wanted, or wouldn’t dare to listen to myself (with some exceptions, thankfully).
I wouldn’t appreciate and share my talents and constantly would be on guard of every step I took.
It took many years to get reed of shame and heal the wounds.
In fact, I still am “dealing” with it.
How about you?
Are you daring to be You?
Are you daring to be that radiant, amazing, unique, beautiful human you were born to be?

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