What you have been through doesn’t make you ugly.




No experience, no ” mistake” (mistake is just a part of a learning curve), being different and not being a “standard” or “normal” make you not good enough.

I became self-conscious about my looks early. 

Being shamed at school for having lice, for spots on my uniform, and dirty nails.


I cried last night. This is why I am ending war with my negative emotions.

I’m great at taking life lightly & cheerfully and appreciate all the goodness and beauty around me.And then there are a day or two in a month when I am desperate for cravings. 
A cake, white bread with cinnamon and raisins. 
Or wine. It’s when the deep dark grief knocks me down.   It’s when I feel gruellingly unhappy and I don’t like this feeling. 

I don’t want to feel this way.  

I shouldn’t be feeling this way – I try to convince myself each time.

It’s like I feel all the horrible things/ pain happening in the world extremely intense.

I would do all possible healing there are, listen to uplifting speakers and music to avoid/ get rid of that feeling. 
Eat the cake or have a glass of wine or two. 

Today was this day. Unexpected. 

I saw a video of a dog protecting a child from a danger.
And it recalled the memory from my childhood when our dog didn’t allow my mother & family to punish me. 

And no, my mother/ family weren’t monsters. They did what they were taught/ believed was right to do.

I was approx 3 years old, taken my brother, who was 1 1/2 and we disappeared into the woods. 
Our house was just next to it. 

So we walked and explored the forest and our dog followed us. 
I even remember its’ name.

Of course, when our parents discovered we were gone, they were freaking out like crazy. 

I actually remember clearly the scene when they found us. 
There were lots of people. My grandmother. Some aunts.

Me, my brother and the dog stood in the middle of the circle of the adults. 

As I was the eldest and apparently the reason of the whole trouble, I had to be punished. 
So I can learn and not do things like that again.

Feeling scared and ashamed.
Mostly scared. 
Alone and so small against the angry world. 

But when my mom approached me, the dog wouldn’t allow her to come close to me. 

Someone else tried and the dog wouldn’t let him either. 

There I suddenly felt safe. 
The dog protected me.

So, I escaped the punishment. 
Thanks to the dog. 

Today I know, that deep grief comes, among other, from the feeling unsafe/ unprotected by my parents. 
It shouldn’t be the dog but them who should protect a child. 

I know many people go/ have been through much worse, but today I am not belittling my feelings.

I allow myself to feel the grief. 
I cry. 
I cry and cry.

First, it felt like that heavy never ending rain.
And then it dissolves. 
It takes the grief with. 

Wasn’t that bad. 
It did hurt and wasn’t beautiful. 

Feelings aren’t dangerous, but it takes lots of courage to feel them. 

I know grief.
And I’m not afraid of it any longer. 

It taught me a wisdom and love. 

I love my mom, and my dad & all the other crowd- even it’s still difficult to say it loud (in our culture no one said it unless you were tipsy/ drunk – however, thankfully I never spared all the love/ loving words for my children).

Forgiving is not a big issue for me, as I can see the whole picture. 
Avoiding the painful feeling has been the big issue. 
Now I know better. 
I just damn cry if I feel like.
Suppressing/ controlling/ not feeling aren’t the answer and it’s extremely unloving towards yourself and your loved ones.


When life gets you down – go higher. How I became a beauty queen.

Gita Gavare / Beauty contest from Gita Gavare Marotis on Vimeo.

There are moments in life when we believe that everything is falling apart.
Life can be painful. Devastatingly so.


I was 22 and just went through a traumatic experience.
I told only my sister and few other involved knew about it.


I even didn’t consider going to the police – not only I didn’t trust it, I was also afraid of it.


Feminine power – do women make the best business owners? Lovelda Smith tells.

What is it all about? 
All this feminist kind of talk – your wonder.  Show me the money, you say.
If women were to be the best why there are so few of them?
It’s my guess that these are the questions you got when you saw this headline.
I tell you: there isn’t smoke without a fire. 
This interview is all about it.
Lovelda Smith who is the founder of Collaboration Club and brilliant mentor (said my her mentorees) and helps others to be paid for their creative genius.
Business takes courage says Lovelda.
Enjoy – and don’t give up because of those rocky rhymes – it’s only for the first 3 minutes :)


If you want to learn more about Lovelda Smith visit her website 
We would love to hear your thoughts and takeaways :)

Still single? Here is why – Barry Selby tells.


Beautiful young wedding couple standing on the beach

                                                                                                                            Have you been wanting and looking for the love of your life?
Or are you wishing for more joy, life and love into your relationship?
I am.
So, when I learned about Barry Selby –  known as The Love Doctor and author of best-selling book  50 Ways to Love Your Lover I was excited to hear what he has to say.
Barry Selby is a passionate champion for the divine feminine. He helps women become wise and smart in their dating choices. He is passionate about women being honored and respected in love.
As well I wanted to hear a man’s point of view about all this dating thing.
In this video Barry Selby shares his advice about dating, femininity, and men – enjoy!



If you are serious about love, about true partnership, and about the dream of romance you have had forever, you want to check Barry’s programs: The Love Confidant – Dating advantage and / or Your Dating advantage
 Or start with this beautifully written, inspirational and practical guide
to show you 50 ways you can have more love, romance and deep fulfillment in your relationship (or the one you will have!)  50 Ways to Love Your Lover
Please share you takeaways and a-ha moments!
Lot’s of love,

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